Six Sure Fire Steps
to Becoming a Love Magnet
By Rinatta Paries
Do you want to attract true love or improve your relationship so that it
turns into true love? I will show you how to do this by looking and
growing within yourself. For although you're seeking love from another
person, you will be more likely to get the love and attention you
deserve by first growing within.
Here are the six steps you need to take to help you grow in just the
right way. The steps will groom you to attract and engender love.
1. Figure Out Your Relationship Patterns
If you are not attracting the
right partners or not getting enough love in your relationship, it's
probably not the first time in your life. If that's the case, then it's
likely you have relationship patterns that are preventing you from
attracting the right partner or preventing you from behaving in a way
that causes love. Get to know your relationship pattern and your love
life will improve.
2. Let Go of Your Past
Most people collect unpleasantness without realizing it. Every time
something unpleasant happens to you, it goes into a huge sack of other
unpleasantness weighing heavily on your back. You can't move forward in
life -- and especially in relationships -- with this baggage. You can't
move forward emotionally any better than if you had a real sack weighing
100 pounds on your back.
Even if you don't feel the weight most of the time, you will feel it in
relationships. It feels like excessive anger, an excessive need to
control others, fear and anxiety. Want to drop this weight? Then let go
of the unpleasantness in your life.
3. Delve Into Your Needs
Everyone has needs -- that's a part of human nature. In fact, our needs
create relationships. The giver and the receiver both feel better and
more connected when each other's needs are voiced and met. Yet most of
us are uncomfortable asking others to meet our needs. At the same time,
we all enter relationships to get our needs met. See the paradox?
Figure out your needs, and then figure out which ones need to be met by
your partner and which ones need to be met by other people. Then get
them met!
4. Draw Your Boundaries
Boundaries are there to
protect you and to help you honor your needs and wants. You know you
have boundaries when you can choose to say "yes" or "no" to something,
someone or a situation. You know you have boundaries when you can stop a
situation that is hurting you. You know you have boundaries when you
know your needs and ask others to respect them. Having boundaries makes
you discerning, gives you self-respect and inspires others to both
respect you and treat you well.
5. Know What You Want
Know what you want in a
partner and in a relationship. Be careful that what you want is not a
fantasy, an unrealistic standard of perfection, or a set of low
expectations. Look at the relationships you value most and model your
love relationship after those. Keep out people who are not a match, and
invite in those who are. Stop behaving in ways that sabotage what you
want in your relationship and instead take action to create what you
want.
6. Get Connected
Build a community. Get
people into your life to meet your needs, to support you, to nourish
you. Many people want to simply find "the one" or hope they have found
"the one," and then proceed to isolate themselves. What a stress on a
relationship! Can you put all of your needs, wants, desires and
interests on one person? Do you think all of your needs will somehow be
met by one Prince or Princess Charming? We all need community. We have
too many needs for one person to meet them all. Get connected and stay
connected.
This article courtesy of
"Rinatta
Paries, 1998-2002. Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can
teach you the skills and techniques to attract and
sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com
where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free
weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
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